DBT Self-Soothe Skills: Find Comfort Through Your Five Senses

When Everything Feels Too Much

Some moments hit harder than others. A stressful conversation, a wave of anxiety, or just the weight of the day can leave you feeling raw and overstimulated. In those moments, it’s easy to reach for quick relief—doom scrolling, emotional eating, snapping at someone, or shutting down.

Those reactions make sense. Your brain is wired to reduce pain fast. The Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Self-Soothe skills offers a different path. Rather than numbing out or acting on impulse, this skill helps you bring comfort to your body through your five senses—giving your nervous system a break so you can stay present and grounded.

Why the DBT Self-Soothe Skill Matters

Self-soothing means doing things that feel comforting, pleasant, and calming. It’s part of DBT’s crisis survival skills toolkit—skills designed to help you tolerate pain in the short term without acting impulsively or adding more suffering. Unlike TIP skills, which target extreme emotional overwhelm, Self-Soothe is most useful when you’re in moderate distress: moments that feel too much but don’t require urgent shutdown.

This skill works by engaging the five senses—Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, and Touch. Each offers a way to gently shift your nervous system out of high alert. A warm drink, soft lighting, or a familiar scent can signal safety to your brain and body, making it easier to ride out the wave of emotion.

Self-Soothe also helps reduce vulnerability to the emotional mind. When you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or feeling deprived, you’re more likely to react impulsively. Small sensory comforts help rebuild your internal resources, giving you more room to respond with intention.

For additional insights on how engaging your five senses can alleviate anxiety, you might find this Psych Central article helpful.

Using the Five Senses to Self-Soothe

You don’t need an elaborate setup to practice this skill. Even small shifts in your environment— like a soft blanket, calming music, or a warm drink—can shift how you feel internally. You don’t have to use all five senses at once. Start with one and see what feels helpful.

👀 Sight

What you take in through your eyes can affect how your body feels. Calming visuals can reduce tension and create a sense of quiet, even if your circumstances haven’t changed.

• Adjust the lighting to create a softer, more comforting atmosphere
• Watch a candle flicker or a fireplace video
• Keep photos, art, or objects nearby that bring a sense of comfort
• Step outside and take in the sky, trees, or movement in nature

👂 Sound

The nervous system responds quickly to Sound, reducing arousal and calming your body.

Play music that feels soothing or steady

Listen to ambient sounds or nature recordings

Hum gently or focus on steady, rhythmic sounds

Let silence offer space when your environment allows it

👃 Smell

The scent is directly linked to memory and emotion. A familiar or pleasant smell can shift your entire mood, often without effort.

• Inhale the scent of something that brings a sense of home or safety
• Use a favorite lotion, candle, or essential oil like lavender, vanilla, or citrus
• Brew tea or warm something with a familiar smell

✋ Touch

Touch is often the most immediate way to feel grounded. Soothing textures and warmth can cue the body to soften and settle.

Wrap up in a cozy blanket or soft sweatshirt

Hold a warm mug, heating pad, or textured object

Run your fingers across something soft, textured, or familiar

Take a warm shower or place your hands in warm water

👅 Taste

Taste can bring you into the present moment and offer gentle relief. When chosen intentionally, even small bites or sips can feel soothing.

• Sip something warm and calming
• Savor a mint, chocolate, or a favorite snack
• Choose something with a comforting taste or texture
• Focus on the act of tasting—slowly, mindfully, without rushing

When the DBT Self-Soothe Skills Feels Hard to Use

For many people, the hardest part of this skill is allowing it. If you were taught to push through or felt like your emotions didn’t matter, comfort might feel unfamiliar—or even undeserved. Reaching for something soothing might bring up guilt or self-judgment. If that’s happening to you, you’re not alone.

You don’t need to feel fully convinced before you begin. Start small. You’re allowed to care for yourself, even when it feels uncomfortable at first. With practice, soothing can become less about “doing a skill” and more about creating a compassionate relationship with yourself—one that includes care, even in hard moments.

This skill can also be more effective earlier in the emotional wave. You don’t have to wait until you’re overwhelmed. Using Self-Soothe when distress first shows up can help prevent it from spiraling.

Your Challenge This Week

Try building a small Self-Soothe toolkit. Choose one item or experience for each of the five senses. Keep it simple—whatever feels calming, pleasant, or grounding. You don’t have to use it all at once. Just notice what helps.

Let this skill be a way to care for yourself—regardless of whether things are okay right now,  simply because you’re worth caring for.

Want to share what works for you? Drop a comment. You never know who might need that idea.

Thinking About Therapy?

If you’re struggling with intense emotions or feeling stuck in patterns that leave you overwhelmed, therapy can help. I offer individual therapy and DBT skills groups for adults both online and in person. My in-person offices are located in Las Vegas, Nevada, and Torrance, California, and I provide online therapy across Nevada, California, and Oregon. Whether you’re starting with DBT or looking to deepen your skills, you’re welcome here.

To learn more or get started, contact me here. I’d be honored to support you in building a life that feels more grounded, balanced, and aligned with who you truly are.