Feeling Stuck? Use the DBT Problem Solving Skill to Take Action and Move Forward

You’ve named the emotion. You’ve checked the facts. You know your feeling makes sense—and honestly, anyone in your shoes might feel the same way.

But the problem is still there.

The stress isn’t going away. The situation hasn’t changed. And the more time passes, the more stuck you feel—spinning in your head, not sure what to do next. That’s where the DBT Problem Solving skill comes in.

This skill isn’t about calming your body or changing how you feel—it’s about changing the situation itself. When your emotion fits the facts, and the intensity makes sense, this DBT skill helps you figure out what needs to change and how to take action, even when things feel overwhelming.

The Problem Solving skill is one of many core strategies developed as part of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)—an evidence-based treatment created by Dr. Marsha Linehan. You can learn more about DBT at Behavioral Tech, the official training and research site.

Want to dig deeper into this skill? It’s included in DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition by Marsha M. Linehan.

Why Problem Solving Matters

Sometimes emotions feel too big for the moment—and in those cases, you might need skills like Check the Facts or Opposite Action to bring the intensity down. But other times? The emotion actually fits. It’s valid. It’s telling you something important.

That’s when Problem Solving comes in.

This DBT skill is part of the “change” side of emotion regulation. It’s designed for situations where your feelings are appropriate, but there’s still a problem to address. It provides you a structured, intentional way to move forward instead of staying stuck.

It’s not about fixing everything overnight—but about regaining direction.

How the DBT Problem Solving Skill Works

Problem Solving in DBT involves breaking things down into manageable, doable steps. It’s not about thinking harder or coming up with the perfect answer. It’s about taking thoughtful action—even if things are messy or uncertain. Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Figure Out and Describe the Problem Situation

Start by identifying what’s actually going on—not just how you feel, but what’s happening around you.

Be specific. Describe the facts of the situation.

Example: “I keep getting into arguments with my roommate about cleaning.”

Step 2: Check the Facts

Make sure you’re seeing the situation clearly.

Does the emotion fit the facts? Does the intensity match the situation?

If your facts are accurate and the situation is the problem, move to Step 3.

If your facts don’t hold up, go back to Step 1 and reassess.

“Okay, the problem isn’t that she hates me—it’s that our expectations haven’t been clear.”

Step 3: Identify Your Goal

What needs to happen or change for things to feel okay?

Choose something simple, specific, and realistic. Focus on what is within your control.

Goal: “I want a shared plan for chores so we’re not constantly fighting.”

Step 4: Brainstorm Solutions

Come up with as many ideas as you can. Don’t edit or judge them yet.

Ask people you trust for suggestions if you’re feeling stuck. No idea is too small or silly at this stage.

Examples: Have a calm conversation, create a shared calendar, divide tasks, or let some things go for now.

Step 5: Choose a Solution That Fits the Goal

Review your list and select one or two that might work.

Do a quick PROS and CONS if you need help deciding. Choose the one you’re most willing to try first.

Step 6: Put the Solution into Action

Break the solution down into smaller steps, then take the first one.

You don’t have to do everything at once. Just start somewhere, then take the next step, and the next, and the next.

Progress comes from action—even small steps count.

Step 7: Evaluate the Results

Did it work? If yes—great! If not, don’t give up.

Go back to Step 5 and try another idea. That’s part of the process.

Real-Life Example: Problem Solving a Sunday Spiral

Let’s say Sunday night rolls around, and anxiety hits. You dread Monday, feel behind, and can’t sleep. Instead of just trying to manage the anxiety, you decide to use the DBT Problem Solving skill to figure out what’s going on—and what you can do about it.

Step 1: Figure Out and Describe the Problem Situation

“I feel anxious every Sunday night because I know Monday is coming, and I feel behind before the week even starts.”

Step 2: Check the Facts

Does the emotion fit the facts?

Yes—your workload is heavy; some tasks were left unfinished last week, and you’ve been avoiding responsibilities. The situation is real, and the anxiety makes sense.

Step 3: Identify Your Goal

“I want to start the week feeling more prepared and less anxious so I can sleep better and stop dreading Mondays.”

Step 4: Brainstorm Solutions

You come up with a few ideas:

• Create a short Sunday evening planning routine
• Ask your boss for help prioritizing
• Say no to new projects this week
• Catch up in small steps instead of trying to do it all at once

Step 5: Choose a Solution That Fits the Goal

You decide the Sunday routine feels most doable right now.

It might not solve everything, but it’s a good place to start.

Step 6: Put the Solution into Action

You break the routine into smaller steps to make it feel manageable.

That night, you try out a 30-minute Sunday reset:

• 20 minutes of planning: looking at your week ahead, listing out top priorities, breaking tasks into smaller steps, and choosing one or two things to start with on Monday
• 10 minutes organizing your workspace so your morning feels less chaotic
• One small task to help you feel ahead (like replying to one email)

You’re not trying to fix the whole week—just taking a few intentional steps forward. And that’s enough to begin shifting the cycle.

Step 7: Evaluate the Results

After two weeks, the Sunday anxiety hasn’t completely disappeared—but it’s lighter. You feel more in control and are sleeping better. You may realize that your next step is to have a conversation with your boss to address long-term workload stress.

Problem Solving Is About Progress not Perfection

Problem Solving isn’t meant to fix everything at once. But it gives you a path forward—something that can be hard to find when you feel stuck.

Every time you walk through these steps, you practice showing up for yourself with clarity and intention. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be a start.

Your Challenge This Week

Think of a situation that’s felt stuck, overwhelming, or unsolved.

This week, try walking through the Problem Solving steps.

Start by naming the problem, checking the facts, and seeing if there’s one small goal you can set. Even brainstorming a few ideas is progress.

If it doesn’t go perfectly? That’s okay. You’re practicing a new skill—one step at a time.

Let me know how it goes—I’d love to hear what you notice.

Want Help Putting This DBT Problem Solving Skill into Practice?

Even with a clear step-by-step guide, problem solving can feel tough—especially when emotions are high or life is complex. If you’re navigating something challenging and want support applying DBT skills in a way that fits your life, I’m here to help.

Therapy can offer a space to sort through what’s getting in the way and move forward with clarity and support.

Contact Me

I offer DBT-informed therapy for adults with in-person sessions available in Las Vegas, NV and Torrance, CA, and online therapy for clients throughout California, Nevada, and Oregon.

You can reach out here to schedule a consultation or learn more about how therapy might support you.

You can also visit my DBT Skills Series archive to explore other skills or browse my full blog archive for more posts on therapy, emotional wellness, and healing in everyday life.